i am just that funny

for those few readers who paid attention to my old posts, i was enrolled in a stand-up comedy class this quarter. last night was performance time. i headlined... and nailed it. seriously.
i think everyone was astonished to hear such a nice girl have such a filthy, filthy mouth. maybe they were just surprised to actually her me speak.
shockingly, i am quite a different gal at school. i'm shy, insecure, and not altogether too jazzed about my ideas. i guess it comes across in my presentation. outside, i'm loud and opinionated, ridiculous and shameless. onstage, it's even worse. apparently, i found it incredibly easy to adopt a character and an attitude to deliver my jokes pointedly. "obscene e" had a definite swagger and owned the stage. she didn't care if you wanted to listen or not- she was gonna MAKE you listen.
to make it even more incongruous, i dressed in a knee length leather skirt, black tank, and metallic shrug. i wore peep toe pumps, my glasses, and carefully-applied eyeliner. i looked perfectly respectable... that is, until i opened my mouth...
"are you ready for some filth? yeah, you're all thinking, 'she looks like such a nice girl.' please. i'm about as nice as john goodman in a saran wrap unitard."
shazam.
i joked about everything from masturbation to cheating (or cockoutsourcing as i lovingly renamed it) to my cat watching my sexual foibles. jewish girls not giving it up, acting like a believable TS to scare off straight boys in clubs, making fun of drunken frat boys (said they were about as hot as a toothless prostiute gumming your boy to climax and that the next one who came up to me with grabby hands saying 'TIG OL BITTIES' was gonna hear, "i wanna suck your piny tenis"), NOTHING was spared.
i have a sick, sick mind...
and they loved it.
i nailed it. and had a long overdue dose of confidence.
i didn't just own the stage... i owned this whole quarter. had the opportunity to prove myself as both a kickass copywriter and an art director to be reckoned with.
not just that... i'm damn funny, too.

goodbyes

i'm leaving miami in 8 days... and the last time i left was almost 8 years ago.
m & i are going to france for christmas before going to amsterdam to study. it appears that i will be a nomad for the next year and, while the adventure enthralls me, saying goodbye is pretty damn hard.
it's saying goodbye to the most fulfilling job i've ever had, saying goodbye to the students i'm always pleased to spend a few precious hours with each week. it's leaving my cat (the only thing that seems to calm me down when i'm distraught) and the apartment i've made into a home. it's leaving my folks, who grow dearer to me every day, and the network of beautiful thrilling friends i've come to love like blood. it's leaving my sandals and skirts to adorn layers of wool to keep me warm.
my high school had a yearly ritual. a week before graduation, the entire theater department would gather in the large black box theater while the seniors stood onstage to say goodbye and thank the teachers. most wound up bawling and acting like melodramatic adolescents we all, admittedly, were. i think i spouted off some random kerouac quotes about art before growing overly sentimental and making a general ass of myself. it was pretty damn self-indulgent, even then.
now, instead of making a big scene about my impending departure, i just seem to be stressing over the minutiae of organizing my new life and fretting about not having evry last detail taken care of.
i am simultaneously thrilled and scared out of my wits, but somewhere beneath my frazzled exterior, know i am more ready than i could ever imagine.