i'm thankful for...

i started to post this two weeks ago... and forgot about it. blah.


last night, i hosted the second annual pre-thanksgiving potluck feast my friends and i pull out our best recipes for. last year was fantastic- this year was BLISS.
we planned the party on tuesday and i was rushing around all week like a methhead, twitching and compiling endless lists of things to do and prepare. by saturday, i was near pulling my freshly-dyed hair out (note: those of you who knew me as a redhead for years, and a blonde even before that, will be pleasantly surprised to find i am now a femme fatale with dark chocolate coloured locks. a girl needs a little mystery once in a while).
sunday morning, i woke up to find my cat missing. nausea swept over me so wholely that even the thought of the veritable cornucopia that awaited me couldn't pull me from my distress. i spent the whole day adding dishes to my already full menu and sobbing between peeling potatoes & roasting chickpeas.
by the time my guests arrived, my mood had lifted... and the combined presence of their lively conversation and the dish of tuna on my balcony brought my feline companion home. i was elated... and could finally relax.
we sat down to eat the first course and found comfort in our ritual of moving around the table to list all of the things we were thankful for. at that very moment, it hit all of us that our gatherings would soon be brought to a halt. we realized that two couples from our seemingly steadfast group would be leaving... some sooner than others.
mathieu and i will be leaving SOMEWHERE mid-december. we have put in our choices for our quarter away program, and the closest we'll be is chicago. more likely, we'll be in europe.
for the first time in my life, i have a group of friends that thrill me endlessly, a support group of incredible people who keep me on my toes and grinning madly.
it's easy to become attached to people when you don't have siblings.
in the past, i've had groups of friends who worked on solving each others problems and always analyzing the ridiculous, puerile drama they seemed to get themselves into. this, of course, was in my early twenties, when most of our nights were clouded by a chemical haze. i've always been the girl to give give give, and merely pout in the corner when i realize that my "friends" had been taking advantage of my considerable generosity. i'm very naive in that sense.
that doesn't happy anymore... and it's a stark contrast to both my years as a loner (with two lovely galpals who popped in and out of my life. the two beautiful women i know i may not see or talk to frequently, but will always be in my thoughts) and my time as the designated mediator of the dramagroups.