last night, i did something rather interesting. i had been invited out to have a few drinks with an old friend and fought frantically to find a suitable outfit to wear. finding that the very skirt i wanted to don was dirty, i handwashed it & a matching white v-string (note: my only pair of white underwear). after turning my entire flat upside down looking for change for the dryer in my building, i found myself resorting to the ol' hair dryer method. as my wrist grew increasingly tired, i had a (not so) bright idea.
i remembered the seinfeld episode where kramer is obsessed with putting his clothes in the oven to make them toasty (the very same calzone & "pockets full of pennies" episode). as i chuckled to myself, i realized that putting my clothes in a gas oven would probably be quite hazardous. all of a sudden, my green eyes flashed open with what i thought was the perfect alternative- the microwave!!! this wonderous invention would certainly dry my clothes in less time!!!
i decided that my bbv v-string would be a suitable test subject and skipped to the kitchen happily to give my theory a try. i set the timer for 1.5 minutes and went back to my trusty blowdryer, anxious to see the results.
90 seconds later- i return to the kitchen an open the door of the microwave. not yet noticing the acrid smell. oh yes, my thong was dry, but it now had black burn marks along the crotch.
i had forgotten that my v-string was made of 25% polyester.
nuking underwear only proves that i'm naturally blonde.
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