at long bloody last

i finally take the time to sit down and post. it's far easier to just sit back & laugh at jinius's brilliant blog & seethe quietly as i beat myself up for never writing.
so i'm finally challenged by school. to be honest, i've always had the charm to exert minimal effort & still wow my professors. ad school is different. for the first time, i'm not the wittiest or the most talented. indulge me in this one minor display of alphafemale superiority- i'm not the arrogant bitch, never have been. i had to do a brand/ creative strategy presentation based on myself in front of class last week and had my first dose of stagefright. the whole process reminded me of all the "who am i?" crap i did in theater school, when i watched my classmates divulge what they thought was significant about their post-adolescent angst. those performances always seemed to be thinly-veiled cries for attention parading as "expression." the whole palaver just seems self-indulgent in retrospect. this time, i chose to have a good laugh about my prior dabblings, when i sought to define myself as an artist & took myself all too seriously. the only things left over from those days are my addictions to black eyeliner & cloves... i digress...
my entire presentation was based on how i was once the epitome of the "tortured artist." i spent years in misery believing i was complete crap at everything and moved from one form of artistic expression to the next without spending a decent amount of time committed to anything. now, i'd rather believe i try "to be a multi-tasking maniac whose creative strength & promise lies not in singular genius, but in versatility." that's me. "jane of all trades" (verbatim).
i haven't picked up a paintbrush in years- my photos are crap- it's been 5 years since i performed in a play- the only time i do anything musically is when i get onstage to command wild karaoke nights- i'm too voluptuous to exert the energy necessary to play out the choreography in my head... but i no longer waste pages in my journal whining about how blank i am.
ha!!!! apparently, now i just choose to do it online.
life is freaking brilliant, and, for the first time in years, i have nothing to complain about.