plus one

i turned twenty-seven yesterday. without any fanfare.
a simple dinner out at a great brasserie here in amsterdam started (and ended) my birthday celebrations.
the whole palaver has left me in a bit of a funk.
while the messages from a special few back in miami brightened my rather solemn day, the whole weekend turned out to be a big mess, with more tears shed than i should probably admit.
i have a bit of a health scare and need to see a doctor once i get back to the states to ensure i am alright. i found a lump on friday... which shook me up quite profoundly.
i've had this kind of scare before... and have a family history of such benign annoyances... but having that kind of shock two days before a birthday doesn't start things off on the right foot.
for the first time in years, i feel incredibly alone, which will only be magnified by my impending temporary separation from mathieu. it appears that he will be going to hamburg to intern next quarter and i will be going to london. again, the news of this put me into a terrible mood. i cannot intern, as i had hoped & expected, even though i am a copywriter (note: there is always a shortage of writers at my school and we;re usually placed in agencies without any problem), i seem to be at the bottom of a mythical list. ridiculous. i really thought my work was improving. i have a notoriously tough teacher urging me to send in 2 campaigns to contests & magazines. seniority rules... and i'm still, even after 5 quarters, apparently just a fresh.